May, June and July 2008

Crazy spring and summer plans and work have prevented me from keeping up on Jen's (or Leroy's) blogs.

But, Jen's new life is beginning. I have started some relationship groundwork with her using Dan Sumerels methods, and she is responding well. Jen loves being chosen as "the one" that gets to come out of the paddock and play with the humans. She is so eager to do things together, that it actually borders on obnoxious!

She responded well to her first session. At first, she was a little upset that I actually asked her to move away from me, and she couldn't quite figure out what I wanted, she kept banana'ing (is that really a word?) back in to me. When I insisted she move around me, she gave me the finger and raced off. She is a powerful little horse!!! Jen gets quite animated, and she is also an extremely sensitive horse in many ways. As soon as she got her wits about her and relaxed a little and put an ear on me, I relaxed my body language, inviting her in. Which she was very relieved! She came right in, and attaches herself to you like velcro. So we did some off-lead leading, and then I introduced her to the Bitless Bridle. Jen has a major aversion to bits, and she flings her head up in the air and clamps her jaw shut. No amount of treats, or patience, will get her to open her mouth short of being aggressive with her, which I won't do.

She was braced against the Bitless at first, it seemed to be an ingrained habit. Human picks up rein and yanks, horse braces against inevitable pain. So when I first picked up the rein (I stayed on the ground), she braced. I held steady, light contact, eventually she relaxed her neck a little, and she got a click and a treat. She thought that was really cool, so we did it again. She still automatically braced, but she softened quicker and quicker. We repeated many times, and she was softening and relaxing. We obviously repeated the steps with both reins. I also tried out the one-rein-stop / hip disengage from the ground, and this was beautifully soft and responsible. Interesting. So then I called it a day, and took her out in the yard for some grass. I wanted to keep it simple for our first time out.

The second time we started off the same way and it went much the same, although with a bit less animation when I asked her to move away from me. We repeated the groundwork with the Bitless, and she was still braced, but a smidge less than last time. After she was responding pretty well to the Bitless, I put the bareback pad on her, and I took my time getting on. I leaned over her, petted her, put just a leg over her, guaging her reaction as if she had never been ridden. She was a little tense and worried about what I was going to do. But I reassured her a lot. Eventually I climbed on board, and just sat there feeding her treats. She though that was really cool! The first time she tried backing up so she could get her head closer to me with the treats. LOL! It didn't work too well for her.

So then I asked her to move forward, and she was extremely tense. Her whole body was waiting, ready to leap into action at the slightest hint of movement. Hmmmm....... But when I gently squeezed, she didn't move. I tried again, and again, with very gentle contact. then I slid my legs slightly back, I have abad habit of my legs sometimes sliding too far forward, inhibiting forward motion in a sensitive horse. When I did this, she about leapt out of her skin and rushed forward, as if she was expecting me to lift my legs away from her sides and just whallop on her. So she got a little spooky after that ,but soon calmed down. Once she moved forward softly off my leg, I got off her and called it a day.

We repeated this again a third time, and she was calmer even the third time. So we are making progress. I have not had a chance to work with her more than every few weeks unfortunately, with the hot weather, kids home from school, yard work, barn work, house work, work-work, etc., etc. But we'll get there.

OK, don't make fun of the tie-dye -- the horses don't care what I'm wearing when I play with them or feed them :-)

So the next phase of Jen's life has begun! From starved little filly, to starved, abused riding horse, to starved, abused broodmare, and now a fat, unpregnant family horse.

Well, OK, she's not really fat yet. But she's getting there! She's in decent weight now. She has a small amount of topline to build up, a small amount on the top of her butt to muscle up. After that, I'm certain that she is going to continue to bulk up over the next year or two. Her chest is still pretty narrow, although it is much wider than it once was. She has muscles in her shoulders and neck and butt now, but I'm certain that they will get bigger, and firmer, and stronger.

March and April, 2008

We are all healing after Ana's death. Jen was very, very distraught for quite some time. It was really amazing (and very sad) to watch the herd dynamics. Lakota took care of Jen for 3 days after Ana's death. On the 4th day, she told Jen to get on with her life. Jen was very funny for awhile, but soon she began to heal, also.

Jen seems to have taken on some of Ana's personality. She now seeks me out for attention, and loves to be scratched on the belly and the brisket, just like Ana. She plays, and canters, and buck, which I have never seen her do in the past year. I think that Ana is keeping Jen company, and helping her to learn to trust humans again, and teaching her how much fun we can be.

Jen and April have buddied up, and they spend all their time together. It really came to fruition when Jen ran a stick into her coronary band early in April. It was in a good inch and a half, and I didn't discover it until the 3rd day. I was soaking the hoof, thinking the lameness was an abscess, but on the third day, the soaking with Epsom Salts had drawn the stick out enough that I finally felt it. Jen was confined to a small pen, and on bute for 3 days and anbitiocs for a week. She ended up on Doxycycline after having an allergic reaction to SMZ. She was quite frantic, stomping, and itching her entire body. Banamine set that straight quickly. While I am generally a very natural-oriented person, Banamine is like a wonder-drug! I wish it weren't so darned expensive.

Jen had her bandage changed on her hoof 2x/day, with antibiotics injected into the hole, and of course her temperature was monitored. We got through all of this with a lot of treats :-) While Jen was laid up in her pen, April immediately rushed the fence, and spent the entire week in the pen with Jen. No matter what ugly faces Jen made, April never left her side for all that time. They have been inseparable ever since. Jen even shares her hay pile with April, and that is a BIG deal for Jen, she only shared her hay with Ana occasionally.

I have started taking Jen out to the roundpen, and we started with some clicker targeting exercises, to build her confidence. Soon I hope to start some round-pen relationship work, and see how she reacts to that. Jen has really warmed up to me over the last few months. She softens and likes to just stand with me, and be with me. She seeks out the companionship.

While Jen is supposed to be my daughters horse, I think it is good that Jen is learning to trust all humans again. At first I had thought I would step back and let them build their own realtionship, but with school hours, homework schedules, my daughter doesn't get to spend as much time as she would like with the horses, and Jen was feeling left out, I think.

Jen is also moving so much better! She is bucking and cantering, and she is moving engaged and with natural collection. Her poll and sacrum no longer seem to be sore, and she rolls all the way over, now. Thanks, Pam! She is moving engaged, and very happy and comfortable in her body now. I think she just needed to build the muscle necessary to carry herself. I think her old, inverted movements were due to atrophied and cannibilized muscles, unnecessary muscles that were sacrified for survival, but their absence caused her to not be able to move properly for so many years, that her body didn't know how to move correctly again without the NMR help.

February, 2008

Well, I don't need to worry about weaning, anymore. Someone took care of that for us. On Feb. 28, 2008, Ana shattered her pastern and had to be euthanized.


Poor Jen, she was just devastated. She wouldn't leave he body , and grieved over her for 3 days. It was just heartwrenching to witness, along with my own grief. Ana's life was far too short. She fretted and fussed, and became anxious everytime she saw me come outside. She wanted me to fix it, to make it all better like I promised. But I couldn't .... there was just nothing that could be done.


The entire herd is grieving. Lakota is helping Jen, though. Even though they were never friends, Lakota was very, very nice to Jen for those 3 days. She stood with her, never chased her at feed time, didn't chase her away from attention from me (as per usual), and guided her. On the third day, after Ana was buried, Lakota chased Jen out of the stall, and wouldn't let her stand and mourn over the spot where Ana's body had lain. She told her it was time to get on with her life now, that Ana was gone, and we couldn't bring her back.

Here is a photo of Jen on 2/24. Its all I have right now, I haven't been in the mood to take photos.






Here is the last photo I have of Ana and Jen together, taken on 2/24, 4 days before Ana was gone.




Here is a videoI put together telling Jen and Ana's story.

January, 2008

Jen is having some sessions with Pam Sourelis of Reiki, Communication, and Neuromuscular Retraining. I will keep this page updated with her progress, but here is the report of her first session.

__________________________________________________________________

1/3/08
Hi Michelle. Here are the notes for Jen's session.

I began the session by placing one hand on her chest, one on her hind end and just channeling Reiki while gently rocking her from front to back. She pulled in a tremendous amount.

I was then led to take her sternum in small circles. This is ordinarily not something I would do at the beginning of a session, as this is a very private area of the body. I also like to work with the spine and ribcage first. But this is where Jen wanted me to work, and so I did. The circles were very smooth and clean, no sticking.

I then channeled Reiki to the entire underside of her body, then to the muscles along her spine, and then up through her seat bones. When sending the Reiki through her seat bones, I saw dark areas in her lower spine and off to the sides of her spine. I place my hands on either side of her lower back and channeled Reiki while gently rocking her from side to side. The dark area cleared fairly quickly, within two or three minutes.

I noticed gray energy further up her spine, and so I moved my hands further up the spine, one hand on either side, and continued channeling Reiki. This energy also cleared fairly quickly. I repeated this process with my hands on her shoulders.

Jen then presented her chest to me. I wasn't sure if she was presenting her physical chest/sternum or her heart chakra, perhaps both. In any event, I channeled Reiki to the area.

Jen then led me to her left shoulder. Standing on her left side, I channeled Reiki to the area, which was rather dark and seemed quite stiff. I did not attempt to initiate any movement. I then moved to the right shoulder. I channeled Reiki to the area and then took the shoulder in small circles. They were smooth, no sticking.

Jen then led my hands to the area just below her withers (still on her right side). After channeling Reiki to the area, I moved a bit lower on her spine, where I held and lifted the muscles beneath the spine (taking over the work of the muscles). I "walked" down her spine, and when I reached her haunches, lifted and held the muscles of one haunch at a time, while gently rocking her from side to side.

I then sent Reiki up through Jen's feet. She felt much softer at the end of the session than she had at the beginning.

I started to speak to Jen several times during the session, to ask her questions, but I thought better of it. It felt invasive. She wasn't interested in communicating in that way. My sense is that she is standoffish because she is physically uncomfortable and doesn't want to be jostled by the other horses. This could change with additional NMR work.

After I wrote these last two paragraphs in my notebook, I turned my attention to Jen again to end the session. I had planned on taking her face in my hands, but she positioned my hands higher up, just behind the poll. As I channeled Reiki to the area, I felt her neck loosen.

She told me that what I had just written was correct. She stretched her neck and back and communicated the energy of smiling broadly. I stroked her mane for awhile and then swept her aura to close the session.

Thank you for allowing me to work with this lovely creature.

Please let me know if you notice any changes in her demeanor or behavior.

Be well, Pam

Reiki Energy Healing

Animal Communication

Neuro-Muscular Retraining

www.WingedHorseHealing.com

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1/9/08 -
Hi Michelle. Here are the notes for Jen's second session.

As I connected to her with Reiki, I told her that it's OK for her to be off by herself as long as she is happy. No one is asking her to change her personality.

When I began working with her body (mostly Reiki), I noted that her lower back was stiff. I channeled Reiki to the area, did some gentle rocking, and very gently "bent" the hind a tiny bit around the lumbar/sacral joint.

I then sent Reiki up her spine and into her shoulders. I still noticed darkness in the left shoulder and to a lesser extent the entire left side of her body. I channeled Reiki to the left shoulder, then took it in small circles (which she didn't want me to do last week, so this is progress).

I then took her sternum in small circles. They were smooth; this is good, too.

My sense of her is that she is still fairly closed, not as willing as Leroy to let go of pain. She needs to find something else to replace it (like play).

I then channeled Reiki to the rest of her body and chakras.

I said a prayer for release of pain, release of fear, and I asked that those spaces be filled with love and light. I assured her that how she behaves after that is up to her; she is free to remain reserved if she likes.

I ended the Reiki by holding her head in my hands for a few minutes. I then swept her aura.

While I wasn't comfortable speaking to her last week, I took a chance this week: Pam: Jen, do you have anything you want to say? Jen: Not really, not yet. I feel that I am healing. I appreciate what you are trying to do. I am trying to move the darkness aside and bask in the light.

At this point, I said good-bye, ending the session. Her comment (along with her bucking episode!) is very good news. As long as she is open to information and to healing energy, my sense is that she is going to be fine.

Thank you for allowing me to work with her.

Be well, Pam

Reiki Energy Healing

Animal Communication

Neuro-Muscular Retraining

www.WingedHorseHealing.com

__________________________________________________________________

1/16/08
Hi Michelle. Here are the notes for Jen's session.

I began as I most often do, rocking her gently from front to back while channeling Reiki.

She then led me to her left shoulder. I spent a lot of time here, channeling Reiki until the area was "softer" and then taking the shoulder in small, smooth circles.

I then did the same on the right side, but for a much shorter time, as the nervous system transfers the information from one side to another fairly quickly.

She then led me to her sternum, where we also worked for quite awhile, channeling Reiki and taking the sternum in circles.

She then led me to her neck, at first the whole general area and then the spine, then to the area below her withers (both sides) and then the withers themselves. Most of the session was spent in these areas: shoulders, sternum, neck, withers.

But then, much to my surprise, she led me to her poll. I channeled Reiki to the area for awhile, then left one hand on her poll , placed the other under her chin, and gently (I'm talking about very tiny movement) coaxed her chin towards me. The purpose was to show her that the poll can move, and that the movement can be free and comfortable.

Jen then led me to her hind end, where I sent Reiki up through her tail to her poll, up through her hind feet (to stabilize the hind), and then up through her seat bones towards her poll.

We ended the session as we had begun, with gentle rocking front to back.

As I told you on the phone, when she placed my hands on her poll, I said, Michelle isn't going to believe this; she's going to think I just went here because of our conversation, and Jen was all, Oh, be quiet and do the work. She's a stitch.

Thank you for allowing me to work with her. Please keep me posted on her progress.

Be well, Pam

Reiki Energy Healing

Animal Communication

Neuro-Muscular Retraining

www.WingedHorseHealing.com

__________________________________________________________________

Jen had 3 Reiki/NMR sessions, as you read above. I have seen some emotional changes in Jen, that are very interesting. Jen seems to have realized that she is entitled to an opinion, and she is testing out sharing that opinion. I can't say that she has completely opened up yet, but it feels like she's trying out the theory ;-) So we're working through a few emotional things. She kicks out at the other horses now, which she didn't do before. She's been the bottom of the pecking order, and not she's telling them to f--- off when they push her around. She's still bottom of the pecking order, but sharing her opinion. She is learning that we don't kick out or push other horses INTO the human (Leroy is the only horse under her that she can push). That is something I don't tolerate, and I fully expect to be able to walk around the paddock with hungry horses and not be run down. The rest of them have learned, and Jen can learn as well. Don't chase other horses near the human, that is the #1 rule.

Also, instead of locking up and bracing when I handle her, she is now throwing her head up and bugging her eyes out. It seems to me, that she's telling me that she is worried, rather than withdrawing into herself with the attitude of: "OK, FINE! Do what you have to do to me and get it over with already." So, although on its surface it is quite annoying, I'm taking this as progress. I'm currently handling it by doing my best to keep my emotions out of it (my first thought being: "you stupid horse, we've been doing this every day for almost a year, why are you freaking out NOW about it???" So I take a deep breath, and just wait.

One day I had to wait almost 10 minutes to take her halter off, she kept throwing her head up and popping her eyes out and ready to run away every time I reached toward her halter. Finally, she sighed, dropped her head, and licked and chewed for the first time ever! Then I was easily able to take her halter off, and she wandered off (rather than ripping away like she had originally planned to). It actually looked so funny at the time to see her lick and chew, I guess I hadn't realized how tight she always holds her mouth and jaw, always clenched tight. She is doing a lot of l/c now, everytime I handle her she walks away licking and chewing.

Unfortunately, Ana is still nursing. She actually seems to be nursing a bit more than she was in December, darnit. Jen is so darned herdbound though, I really am reluctant to force wean them. She's already been ripped away from her other daughters, while they were starving, and she really misses them, I don't want to do that to her again. I guess I'll just keep pouring the feed in, and as soon as the weather gets better, I'll spend more time taking them away from each other incrementally and doing fun stuff with each one so it isnt' so worrisome.

December, 2007

Jen continues to put on weight, and is looking rather good. She needs to bulk up on muscle now, and work on her topline, which we will start in spring with some light roundpen work over ground poles, and some light riding by my daughter.

Nothing much else to report, Ana is almost completely weaned and has a suck every now and then, I think mostly she's just too lazy to walk all the way to the water tank for a drink. Jen mostly pushes her away, and her bag is mostly slack and drying up. I'm not going to stress them with forced weaning, considering Jen is gaining so much weight and Ana is self-weaning.

November, 2007

Earlier this month, Jen came down sick, with ... something. I don't know what it was, but we had a period of cold weather with rain, so I had her blanketed, and was feeding them under the run-in. Two days in a row, Jen acted confused about coming to eat her grain, though she was nickering and interested, it was as if she had forgotten how to get from here to there. Both days I led her over, and she ate everything. The third day, the other horses were pushing her out of her hay, and she didn't care, which was uncharacteristic. It was pouring, so I brought her inside the one stall, and closed her in. She was warm to the touch, so I took off her blanket .... and she was gaunt and tucked up, and looked horrible. I took her temp, is was 101, which is pretty high for her, she typically runs low, most likely due to her starvation. She was far too warm to the touch for what the weather was.

So I locked her in with hay, and gave her some banamine. I checked on her in a few hours, and her temp was down, and she was picking at her hay. I called the vet, and we agreed to put her on a course of SMZ. Her temp. bounced back up that evening, so I gave her a gram of bute, and it went right back down again, and she continued eating, and I started her on SMZ. She was on it for 10 days, and her temp went down and she was eating and otherwise fine. She perked back up in a couple of days, and has been fine ever since. She did have one eye that was a little runny, but nothing else to suggest an upper respiratory infection. She's been fine for 2-3 weeks now, thank goodness.

It is getting pretty darned cold now, so she is wearing her blanket and its keeping her toasty warm. Ana rarely nurses anymore, Jen's bag is shrinking up, and she continues to gain weight nicely. Here are the most recent pics.

This is Ana's morning ritual. She stands on this rock while I prepare grain, yawning, and sometimes she leaps off the side of it like a little fawn.

October, 2007

Much the same for October , Jen continues to gain weight, little by little. Ana is nursing less and less. Jen enjoys getting her blanket on for the cold nights, and the nice warm sun and warm October days on her skin. She is curling up like crazy, she has plenty of coat.

She mostly just needs to fill in her topline now, and just a smidge more on her butt, and she'll look pretty good. Then it will probably take her another year or so to really bulk up those muscles, and her chest. It took Lakota 3 years for her chest to really widen and muscle up.
Some photos from the end of October.

And here is Little Miss Ana-Banana, playing with my chair

September, 2007

Jen continues to do well and gain weight. It is very slow now, but she is building a good winter coat, and she has plenty of blankets to keep her warm this winter. The dentist will be back in November, and I also have a chiropractor coming in November for her, as well.

Ana is getting big, and is a happy, healthy little filly that torments her old-fart paddock-mates. She rears up at them, leaps on them, bites at them and tries very hard to get them to play. All they do is sigh and give her an ugly look. Jen has gotten quite big for her britches since Lakota (alpha mare) went out for training. Lakota comes back next week though, and I'm sure Jen will be back in her place and quit tormenting everyone soon thereafter.

August, 2007

Jen continues to do well. She had her teeth floated last month, and that has helped keep my water tank MUCH cleaner. I think she has plateaued for gaining weight for the moment, at least while Ana continues to nurse, but she isn't losing, so I'm happy.

She is settling in much better, all the horses have been together for about a month now. Jen is the bottom of the pecking order, but is working her way up. She already is above April, and is working on Whinney next. The only time they seem to squabble at all is at breakfast and dinner-time, but if Jen goes to her own spot and waits for her bucket, there are no troubles. But she gets anxious about dinner and paces, that's when the other girls get mad at her and put her back where she belongs.

Jen seems to be settling down a little bit. She seems a bit less tense and anxious, so that is good news. I expect it will take her some time to really settle in and be comfortable here, she seems like she is holding in a lot of tension and stress. It's hard leaving the only life you've know, leaving behind your herd, including your babies, to a new life.

And here is my daughters artistic shot for the day

We have started doing a little bit of groundwork, just to build Jen's and Mandy's relationship. Mandy is using clicker training to help Jen learn to trust her and build a relationship. She is also doing gentle work over groundpoles to help build her muscles back up.

Here is Jen learning to target a cone

Leading over groundpoles

Backing over groundpoles

And getting an Equine Touch Body Balance

July, 2007

Jen continues to gain weight, slowly but surely, even while lactating. She is gaining in her neck, shoulders, chest area now, and starting to get some muscling over her shoulders, and filling in between her ribs. Her anus is less sunken in and she is getting close to being normally conformed back there.

My daughter sat on her for the first time last week, and was grinning from ear to ear. Obviously its too soon to ride her, but my daughter has been doing some clicker-training groundwork with her, so they develop a good relationship when Jen is ready to ride.

Ana-Banana is also doing very well. She is a VERY active little filly, and very outgoing. I've started introducing the other horses, and Miss Ana pins her ears and charges at them from behind, then races off, bucking in the process. She is such a bold little imp! All the while, Jen hangs out in the shed with her butt facing everyone.

I'm sure they will all be friends soon. Jen is not worried, just doesn't want to be bothered right now. But Miss Ana needs to learn to live in a herd and not just with her mom, who tolerates all her shenanigans.

June, 2007

Jen continues to gain weight even while lactating, with the help of a round bale and plenty of oats.

She has a few issues she needs to overcome. She is a little spookier than the rest of my lot about different things going on around the farm (kids running around, machinery, etc.) but we'll work on all that. She also needs to learn some manners, as she can be quite pushy, especially with food, and doesn't think twice about walking over the top of you. So we are now working on her manners in just our daily activities, and when Ana gets a little bigger, we'll do some more formal desensitazation work, and manners.

Ana is a little doll, is very, very outgoing and people friendly. She loves to be scratched everywhere, and is learning to have her halter on/off, and leading for short distances. She picks up all 4 feet with no problem, we will soon progress to holding them up for a few seconds or so at a time as she gets bigger and better able to balance on 3 legs.